A Relationship is like a see-saw in every person’s life, sometimes it takes you higher and happier and sometimes it pushes you down and makes you gloomy. But whatever it does, it’s the only thing that makes you feel alive in this unobservant world.
Relationship Problems :
At the start of a new relationship, everything seems perfect and magical, every leaf looks greener, every song in the radio seems about you but as a relationship grows, so do the problems and fights. No two people in this world think exactly in the same way. There are differences which we overlook in a new relationship and become a major cause for separation or fights later. So how do we avoid these fights? Trust me, there are very simple ways that can be used to stop or avoid fights. And not in a way that you feel you are losing something or settling for less than you deserve, in a way that will keep both you and your partner happy.
How to avoid Relationship Fights :
1) Change your outlook towards relationships : First make sure you understand that the relationship is meant to have some small fights, it’s inevitable. And if there are no fights, then it means your relationship is dead. Just like for feeling happiness, you need to have some low days from time to time, otherwise happiness will have no value. That’s the same way it happens for relationships, if you don’t get bad times, you won’t feel the good time.
2) Don’t spend more than enough time together : For instance, if you like apple pie and I give you apple pie to eat for 3 meals a day and 1 month continuously, you’ll get sick of it and start to resent it. That’s the same play of relationships, you like your partner but it doesn’t mean that you have to spend all of your time with him/her. Give each other some space, hang out with your friends, take a hobby, take interest in your work and spend the leftover time with your partner which will be gold in this situation. The key to a healthy and fun filled relationship is to spend less but quality time with each other. Take this as a thumb rule.
Time to be spent together should be inversely proportional to the age of the relationship.
If the relationship is new, spend more time to get to know each other better, when relationship gets old, spend less but valuable time with your partner. Remember, relationship is a part of your life, it’s not your entire life.
3) Take your Ego away from your relationship : The most common demon that destroys the relationships is your Ego. When you are making a commitment, make sure you keep your ego away from it. Relationship is a two way street, you’ll have to cover half of the distance. And make sure your ego doesn’t come in between making a decision with your partner.
4) Veto System : There’s a system you can follow to make conflicting decisions which is 100 % fair and fun to do together. Just imagine if you want to go and watch an action movie, at the same time your girlfriend wants to see a romantic movie, now in this situation one will have to sacrifice his/her choice and it will hurt other person’s mood and the other person would feel like losing something, but if you adopt veto system, you both would be happy… Here’s how :
2 Simple Rules to adopt ‘Veto System’ for Relationships:
a) Both partners will get 10 vetos in a week (or more depending on the status of relationships, more fights means you can assume more vetos for a week, like 20).
b) Whenever a conflicting decision arrives, there has to be a bid of vetos. For e.g. in above movie situation, both can engage in a bid quoting the vetos they want to use(depending on the importance of task)
Like, boy says “1 veto, I want to see an action movie”
Then girl says “2 vetos, I want to see a romantic movie”
Boy : I bid 3 vetos for it.
Girl : Okay, I am leaving the bid, we can watch action movies that will cost you 3 vetos.
Now boy has only 7 vetos left while girl has 10 vetos, so when another conflict arrives she can bid more vetos to take the decision in her favour. So in a way both the partners get equal and fair chance to make decisions for the relationship which is a healthy and fun way to avoid all the conflicts.
Hope you liked the article, if you have any suggestions or relationship related queries, please post them as comments.
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