Ms Morris was having trouble with one of her second-grade pupils.
“Mike, what is your problem?”
Mike answered, “I’m too smart for the second Grade. My sister is in fourth grade and I’m smarter than her. I think I should be in the fourth-grade too!”
Ms Morris had had enough, so she took Mike to the principal’s office to complain about him.
The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the second-grade and behave.
He started by asking Mike some simple arithmetic.
“What is four times five?”
“How much is eight times four?”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a second-grade should know. The principal looked at Ms Morris and said, “I think Mike can go to fourth grade! He seems smart enough.”
Ms Morris said to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”
The principal and Mike both agreed.
Ms Morris asked, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Mike, after a moment, answered “Legs, Ma’am”
“What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
“What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?”
“What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Mike was taking charge.
“What does a man do standing up, a woman does! sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
“Shake hands, Ma’am.”
“Now for some “Who am I” sort of questions, OK?
First one. You stick your poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do. Who am I ?”
Mike, quick as ever, answered, “Tent!”
“OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first. Who am I ?”
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
But Mike was on the ball with “Wedding Ring!”
“I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Who am I ?”
Mike : “Nose.”
“Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver.”
Mike : “Arrow.”
“Good, now for the last one. What starts with an ‘F’, ends in K’, and means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Mike : “Fire truck, Ma’am!”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send him to university!!, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!”
February 8, 2015
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