Posted by :Drunk WriterPosted date : March 1, 2014In FunnyComments Off on Top 10 funny idiot jokes
1. There was a leak on the roof of Harry’s dining
Repairer came and asked ”When did you come to know there is a leak?”
Harry: “When it took me 3 hours to finish 1 bowl of soup”
2. Once Tom was sitting alone, really sad about something.
Dick: Hey what’s wrong Tom
Tom: I can’t tell you it’s too embarrassing..
Dick: Oh come on, please tell me I am your BFF.
Tom: my 11 year old son made my secretary pregnant!!
Dick: What the hell.. How is it possible ? you’re kidding right ?
Tom: No he really did..
Dick: How on earth did that happen ?
Tom: I’ll tell you how that happened, the little punk punctured my condoms !!
3. Harry and Tom were talking after a long time:
Hey, I got married !
Oh, that’s good!
No, that’s bad. she’s ugly!
Oh, that’s Bad!
No. that’s good ! She’s rich!
Oh! that’s good !
No, that’s bad ! She won’t give me a single penny!
Oh, that’s bad!
No, that’s good ! She bought me a big house!
Oh. that’s good.
No. that’s bad ! The house burnt down!
Oh, that’s bad!.
No, that’s good ! She was inside…… 😀
4. Tom and Dick were in a mental hospital. Once they were walking along a swimming pool and Tom suddenly jumped into it in order to kill himself.
But Dick jumped in the pool and pulled the poor Tom out.
When the head of mental hospital became aware of his heroic act, he called Dick and said “I have both good news and bad news for you. Since you risked your own life to save your friend, we think that you are no longer mentally unstable and we are going to discharge you tomorrow. But the bad news is : Your friend Dick, who’s life you saved hung himself in bathroom. We are really sorry for your friend”
Dick replied, “No you idiot, He didn’t hang himself in bathroom. I put him there to dry !!”
5. Dick to shopkeeper: “Give me a toothbrush. One bristle of my toothbrush is torn”
Shopkeeper: “If only one bristle is torn, why would you need to buy a new toothbrush?”
Dick : “Because, that one was the last bristle of my toothbrush”
6. Harry: “Son why are you making two beds??”
Son: “Two guests are coming.
Son: “My uncle and mom’s brother”
Harry: “Then make one more bed. My brother in law is coming too”
7. Dick : I think daisy is deaf.
Tom : Why do you think that..?
Dick : Because when I said I want to make love to her, she said “My Sandals are new.”
8. After returning from a trip from Paris, Tom asked his wife “Do I look like a foreigner now ?”
Wife : No why ?
Tom : Then why everyone kept asking me in Paris if I was a foreigner !!
9. Dumb Tom went on his first date with a girl.
Girl (knowingly he wasn’t bright enough) asked him to bring protection
Tom went with his 5-6 body builder friends with hockey sticks in their hands
10. Tom: “Yesterday 10 boys beat me up at school”
Dick: “Then what did u do??”
Tom: “Then I said ‘You idiots, you have no idea whom you are messing with, if you have guts, come one by one”
Tom: “Then they beat me up again one by one”